You’ve tried to quit before. Maybe more than once. Each time, you made it a while, felt things getting better, and then found yourself right back where you started.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Countless people trying to quit pornography fail again and again, and so many of them are trapped for the same reason: the wrong motivation. It is a serious problem, and it’s worth looking at directly. So this article is about one thing: your motivation for quitting.
A motivation that looks good at first glance
Quitting to restore your sexual function may seem like a good motivation. Perhaps you’ve noticed a decline in sexual function after years of bad habits. Some people have already developed premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction, while others are on the path toward them.
What’s worse is that you may not have realized how serious the problem is. You may be like a frog being slowly boiled in water, still swimming comfortably in a pot that is steadily heating up.
Why recovery becomes the danger zone
The Yellow Emperor’s Inner Classic states: “Illness arises from overuse!”
Your body is like a machine. If you only use it without proper maintenance, the parts wear out quickly and eventually break down. But your body also has a certain ability to repair itself. That is why, after a period of abstinence, you may feel your physical and sexual function recovering.
And this is precisely the most dangerous stage for relapse.
As your kidney energy recovers, some sexual activity returns, and impure thoughts begin to arise. If you quit “to restore sexual function,” you start to feel restless. You develop a “testing mentality,” wanting to see just how far you have recovered. It is this very thought that leads you back into the vicious cycle, where you become uncontrollable and may even escalate your behavior.
Wrong from the very beginning
This is a classic example of the wrong motivation. When something is wrong from the very beginning, the result will naturally be wrong too.
This kind of motivation is doomed from the start. Failure is inevitable, because you are quitting so you can indulge yourself better in the future, to satisfy your desires more fully later. The motivation is wrong at its root, and wrong motivation leads to wrong results. You are destined to sink deeper and deeper, unable to free yourself.
The foundation of your house
That is why establishing the correct motivation for abstaining from pornography is crucial and fundamental. Think of it as the foundation of a building. Your foundation must be correct and stable. Otherwise, you are building a house on sand, and it can collapse at any moment.
Motivations worth building on
- To restore your physical and mental health. This is where many people begin, because their bodies have already been damaged by bad habits.
- Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) health preservation. TCM advocates preserving and cherishing your essence (jing), so learning some TCM health preservation knowledge will make quitting more beneficial for you.
- Religious beliefs. Buddhism, for example, opposes bad behavior and premarital sex, and advocates abstinence after marriage.
There are other good motivations too, such as wanting to make your family proud or wanting to realize your life ideals.
The bottom line
Don’t quit “in order to restore sexual function.” When you establish a right and reasonable motivation, your sexual function will be restored naturally. But if you quit only for the sake of sexual function, you will fall back into the trap. This is inevitable, a truth revealed by the experiences of hundreds and thousands of people who have tried to quit.
Hopefully this gives you some helpful insight as you work to break your bad habits, and a clearer understanding of how to go about it. You can break free from this vicious cycle and rediscover your sunny, healthy self.
